I like tradition. In fact, I LOVE tradition! I think part of that comes from being the first born. I like feeling in control of everything and knowing what to expect. Well, three months ago, I pledged myself to the love of my life and suddenly, my world was turned topsy turvey. Really, I’ve enjoyed it! It’s been fun to be the cook of the house, decide what should or shouldn’t go on our calendar and having Dearest Carl to myself all the time. And as I’ve been cooking and cleaning away in our little apartment, I’ve been looking forward to the holidays with great expectations.
Then Thanksgiving came. We went to the Watkins’ house and spent time with family and ate turkey and had lots of fun. And then we went home. Friday we set up the Christmas tree and I was just plain mopey. My little sisters and Gavin came over to help us put the decorations on and we played video games but as soon as they left, I was back in the dumps. Saturday was spent doing laundry and odds and ends until we went to the Watkins’ again to do Christmas with everyone. And it was hard to smile. Sunday I managed to pull it together for church but I was a mess on the inside all day long. And I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me! Poor Dearest Carl dealt with me quite admirably.
It hit me Sunday night. I was homesick! This twenty year old married woman wanted nothing more than the normal Thanksgiving and coming Christmas I’ve been accustomed to. Dearest Carl and I sat in the dark that night and he listened to me wail about missing the huge glowing tree and my grandma’s cooking and my family Christmas music… and my family! But even his sweet encouraging words and hugs didn’t help me much.
This morning, I woke up determined to be happy and the beautiful frosty scenes on my way to work made me smile. Then I got to work and while Little Bird played with her castles and books and baby carriage, I stumbled across this blog post from A Little R and R. Heh, funny how God knows exactly what I need and if I get too out of line, it’ll only whack me harder in the face.
So, from this morning on, I promise to put away my Christmas expectations! I promise to enjoy the newness of my first married Christmas. And I promise to make new traditions and not get so caught up in the old ones.
Remember, you are loved so stay happy!