You might have noticed that I haven’t shared a resolutions post for 2019 yet. I’ve definitely been riding that high of completing my cake a week goal from 2018 but I’ve also been thinking. A lot. And this year I’m not making any actual resolutions.
Sure, I want to read more and lose weight and all those things people resolve at the beginning of the year, but it’s more than that. Lately, I’ve felt so hurried and stressed and disconnected. From Dearest Carl, from myself, from God. So rather than making resolutions that will be forgotten by March, I’m adopting a mindset. In 2019, I really need to take better care of me. And here are a couple ways I plan to try.
- At the beginning of the year, I started a journal. It’s purpose is to record spiritual thoughts and revelations, private feelings, the quote that hit hard. No obligations to write every day or write eloquently. Just when I need to get something out or record something I want to remember.
- I need to listen to my body better. I’m terrible about exercising and eating greens. So this year, I want to pause more and give my body what it needs. A short walk, a bottle of water, a tomato heavy salad. Because I’m almost 27 and it’s important.
- This year I’m relying heavily on planners. I have one for our family and daily life but I recently bought one just for my job. As the administrative assistant at our church, I have a lot on my brain so my goal is to make this particular planner an extension of my body. If I have a thought related to work, it goes in the planner instead of trying to keep everything in my brain and forgetting things and spiraling into stress and frustration. Organization is key to keep me calm.
- The past three or four years, I feel like Dearest Carl and I have spiraled into a pattern of filling everyone else’s needs and kind of passing by the nurturing aspect of our marriage. You guys, infertility is not a small thing and when it’s a part of your life, it can easily break you down piece by piece. This past year in particular, I have watched how vital it is for Dearest Carl and I to connect. The deep healing kind. To clear space for processing our thoughts and feelings about all this together. If you don’t, you end up sobbing in the shower the day before Thanksgiving because you feel so misunderstood and lonely. Or at least I do. So in 2019, I want to be very cautious about what we say “yes” to. Our calendar can fill up quickly if we don’t prioritize each other. That might seem like a “duh Casey!” thought but you might be surprised how easily we can (and do) put something on our calendar every single night of the week. And I just can’t do it anymore. I need to learn to say “no”!
Yes, I still want to read more books and I want to travel more places but I’ve come to the conclusion that revelations don’t have to be big and grand. Even the little ones matter. So this year, I’m making baby steps to a healthier me, spiritually, emotionally and physically.