The Infertility Fellowship

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo. ‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

J.R.R Tolkien

You know when you’re sitting, watching a movie that you’ve watched a hundred times, and suddenly, you have a brilliant correlation pop in your head? We have been watching The Lord Of The Rings here and I was struck by a parallel. Yes, it might be the nerdiest yet, but it’s too good not to share. Also, this month is Infertility Awareness month. I couldn’t let it pass by unnoticed, especially with so many women managing their disappointment, grief and healing after cancelled fertility appointments due to COVID-19.

Like Frodo is given the ring to destroy with a fellowship behind him for support, I would point out that we who are journeying the path of infertility need a fellowship too. This burden is a heavy, lonely one, no matter what kind of infertility you are facing, and support is vital to your health. So I’d like to introduce you to The Infertility Fellowship.


Aragorn, the knowledgeable friend: They’re the one recommending the herbs and yoga poses to help you be as fertile as possible. Always hopeful.

Gandalf, the wise friend: They’re the one speaking truth into your life just when you most need to hear it and praying for you over the phone. Always loving.

Legolas, the childless friend: They’re the one reminding you of the perks of the childless like late night movies and cocktail hour. Always spontaneous.

Boromir, the encouraging friend: They’re the one giving you the pep talk when you’re anxious and reminding you of the wonderful person you are. Always kind.

Gimli, the warrior friend: They’re the one ready to stand up for you at the baby shower or go at it with your inconsiderate family member. Always fierce.

Pippin, the funny friend: They’re the one sending you memes, GIFs and videos that make you laugh even on your darkest days. Always fun.

Merry, the content friend: They’re the one sharing the simple joys of life like cutting flowers and fresh cake, reminding you that overall, life is good. Always giving.

Samwise, the “there” friend: They’re the one that notices when you haven’t been sleeping and genuinely offers to go to appointments with you. Always tender.

It’s very possible that you might find a friend who is a few of these combined and that’s a friend you want to hang on to because it’s important that we get some dose of each of these as we try to navigate whatever infertility looks like for each of us. You are a person and you deserve all the support and love you can handle as you carry this hard thing. Also, I would love to be in your infertility fellowship! So here’s my application for whichever friend you need most. Hit me up! Let’s venture into Mordor together.

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